The Greatest Soldier to Have ever Lived



No one knows where he came from or what his name was. He just appeared on the battlefield one day and sniped every last fucking one of those damn shotgunners. He taught our troops the way to do it. He is practically the reason why the world is at peace to this day. But things had changed. Once he returned home from his tree house, he found life wasn't the same anymore....at night, he saw visions of all the neighbors kids pretending to scream in agony, with foam darts in their hair. He tried to cope with reality once again, but the things he saw, the things he had done, wouldn't let him go anymore. And nobody else knew, nobody knew what a horror pretend war is. He found temporary solace in drinking cough syrup, but he soon found himself unable to exist without it. His friends abandoned him, his classmates isolated him, his parents grounded him for not having wiped his shoes when he came in from the outdoors. He saw only one solution.......he didn't want to feel anything anymore..... He took a whole roll of mentos, swallowed it in quick succession, and then started chugging the coke bottle. He threw up and got into even more trouble. To his day, he is still grounded.

......Also he's a brony who writes Sonic fan fiction now..

He was put on trial for war crimes in early march 2018 and was proven innocent after eating the entire cake in one after trial by cake.